Recently I have come across a lot of women sharing their journey and struggle with postnatal depression.  It is encouraging to see so many more women opening up about the realities of entering motherhood.  There often seems to be the stigma that if you have depression then you must be failing in your role as a mother.  This then enters the cycle of women keeping it to themselves and suffering on their own without the help that they need, compounding the problem. 

When women speak up and share with one another it’s amazing the change that can happen – women empowering women. 

Opening up and sharing our struggles can actually give us strength to face each day with courage and hope.

I too have not been immune to postnatal depression.  I was a professional Primary Teacher before having kids.  My role and purpose in life were clearly outlined for me.  I had an instant community that I belonged to, and I felt like a valued member within that community.  I was respected, and my opinion mattered.  I had goals to achieve and deadlines to meet; I felt like I was making a difference in the world.

The thing that I struggled with the most was going from being a full-time professional to being at home alone with a new baby and energetic toddler.  Having hypothyroidism compounded my sleep deprivation, and the day to day routines of feed, sleep, play left me wondering what my purpose in society really was.  When people asked what I spent my day doing, I often felt a bit ridiculous stating that, I did multiple loads of washing, fed two children all day, changed nappies, and kept them occupied and happy.  That was it – and I was left exhausted and feeling depressed!

The truth of the matter, however, is that that is not it.  There is far more involved with being at home with your children.  It is probably one of the most challenging and yet rewarding jobs. 

The time we spend at home raising our children in those early years is absolutely critical to the foundation of our children. 

Although it may seem like we are doing nothing of importance to the greater society, we are actually making a world of difference one day at a time. 

It took me several years to really understand how to overcome postnatal depression.  It was something I was ashamed to talk about, but Dale knew I needed to.  I felt ridiculous sharing my daily struggles when my tasks didn’t seem to be all that difficult.  Having a supportive and encouraging husband who didn’t judge me made a world of difference.

 Here are a few things that helped me with my struggle.

• As humans we need to feel valued!  In order to find that value, we need to first find a purpose.  

• Aside from the mundane, everyday chores, we need something to look forward to, something that brings joy and a sense of achievement beyond housekeeping.  Let’s face it, who notices that anyway?!!  When people ask you what you do as a SAHM, they’re not exactly cheering or impressed with that, regardless of how hard you worked.  That kind of a response often leaves us feeling undervalued.

• Find your passions and make time each week to spend on those activities.  With each new baby, I had a new hobby and focus:
  • Scrapbooking – this was a lot of fun, especially going through old photos of the kids as newborns. 
  • Polymer Clay – I made jewelry to sell and used that money to help ADRA, a development relief agency.  Working the clay was a great stress relief, and it gave me some “me-time”.
  • Tupperware – This was something completely out of my comfort zone, but I was encouraged by other mums who believed in me.  This became a great confidence builder as well as providing me with a new community. 
  • Gardening – Getting outdoors can do absolute wonders for your soul.  I could easily spend all day out working in the garden.  The kids really enjoyed having me outside while they played too.
  • Blogging – I have always enjoyed creative writing, but the idea of sharing my thoughts with others has always intimidated me and stopped me from doing so.  Again, sometimes finding your purpose means stepping way out of your comfort zone!

As a Stay at Home Mum, connecting with other like-minded mums is critical for maintaining your sanity.  Find women you can relate to who won’t judge you as a mother; women who will encourage you to find your passions, and those who will support you no matter what!  Chances are, they have also been there at some point on their journey.  Most of all, remember this time is but a season, and it will go by so quickly.  You are valued!

Raising respectable and responsible children who have compassion for others is a purpose worth your time and tears.